Today we toured an ancient, 1,000-year-old village in the countryside. It was amazing to see the workers and water buffalo out in the rice paddies and to visit a village where the people do not even have running water. I told Ed that we in America just don't realize how blessed we are.
We finally got a lot of smiles from Julianna today and some laughs from her too. She still has to be held by Ed at all times. He left the hotel room today for 30 minutes, and she cried uncontrollably until he got back. Even after she was back in his arms, she still cried for a long time. If anybody has any advice on what we should do, please share it in the blog comments and my sister can relate it back to us. Julianna is just so traumatized right now, and we know it will take time. But it's wearing Ed out, and it's really hard finally being a Mom but being unable to hold my child without her sobbing.
Tomorrow we go to visit a local park, and then on Friday we leave for Guangzhou! We're having trouble attaching pictures, so we will try to post some tomorrow.
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We are so excited for your family! Julianna is beautiful! Daulton and Alexis are looking forward to playing with their new neighbor. We are praying for you all. Our God is an AWESOME God!
ReplyDeleteThe Hyatts
I am following your blog and
ReplyDeletesending prayers.
This is a link to a blog by a mom with a daughter that didn't want anything to do with mom...only daddy. The family traveled to China in April 2007 for their second adopted daughter & she wrote about her experience while in China.
http://www.tochinaformeilin.blogspot.com/
Terri
Stay Encouraged Leigh Anne. Some babies bond more with one parent than the other at first, but it will get better. Before long she will be wanting you. Julianna is scared. Once she wins your trust she will love you as much as Ed.
ReplyDeleteHang in there! I am sending hugs and prayers your way. I know you have waited so long for this day. I try to keep in mind that even though we have waited so long our daughters haven't been. I know that very soon she will find out what a wonderful Mom you are! I can't wait to see more pictures.
ReplyDeleteWe had the reverse issue in China with MOlly. It was so hard. Rob tried day after day to bond with her and get her to lighten up. Now if you saw them, you would never know that occured. You could go two different ways with this...depending on your philosophy. All feeding should come from YOU and you only. What we would do is I would stay with her all the time but when it came to meal time ( something Molly really really enjoyed), her food would come straight from Robs hands or plate. I would leave the table for a few minutes and return and sit and eat myself...but the feeding came from Rob. Also, when you get to Guanzhou there will be a play room at the White Swan and we started going down as a threesome and then Rob would play with her and I would leave for a few minutes and then each time I would stay gone longer and longer. Treats, snacks, candy, cookies...etc...all came from Rob. I would start there. This is something small and tangible that you can start with there in China. Once you get her home I would tighten the reins so to speak. One thing Rob and I did that payed off was that we didnt start any habits in an attempt to win her over that we would have to immediatley have to undo once we came back. Talk about confusing. Molly learned that she was adapting to our family and not the other way around. It has served as well and she has really adapted well to our family and home life.
ReplyDeletePlease also know that YOUR story is so common. I have heard story after story with this particular bonding issue where the child favors the father...so you are not alone! Not once did one of these stories end any differently than this being any more than a short term phase that was quickly forgotten.
ReplyDeleteLeeAnne, don't worry about the crying when Ed leaves the room and all that...she will adjust. I'm serious...you have nothing to worry about! :) She will be just fine!!! I am so glad for you all!!! All three of you!!! God Bless YOU ALL!!
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